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我是一片叶筋脉是森林我是一滴水魂魄是海洋

爱你们,所有的人,祝福你们,所有的人。Love all of you,guys

 
 
 

日志

 
 

Composition-Upper Intermediate  

2014-05-19 16:48:01|  分类: 进修&英语篇 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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1

Breakfast Menus

 

2

‘Still Hungry?’

 

3

The Menus

 

4

Desserts

 

5

Window-shopping

 

6

The Fitting Room

 

7

An Emergency

 

8

At the Doctor’s

 

9

Correspondence

 

10

At the Post Office

 

11

Banks and ATMs

 

12

Paying a Bill

 

 Composition-Upper Intermediate - Kevin - 我是一片叶筋脉是森林我是一滴水魂魄是海洋

  

1. Breakfast Menus 看图作文

The Important Meals of The Day

                You've heard the old saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but do you know the reason? Now I'm here to share all the facts and sciences behind this theory.

                  Breakfast simply means break the fast. You eat nothing for at least 6 to 12 hours each night. Even though you have beenare) sleeping, you have still been burning energy. And in the morning your body needs energy for the day'sdaily) work ahead.

                   The consumption of an early morning snack increaseincreases) metabolic rate. When you skip breakfast, it will slow down the metabolism. A good breakfast should provide(添加you withprovide sb with sth 是固定短语) up to 500 kilocalories ,which should be 1/3 of your body needs for the day . And not eating breakfast eating  no breakfast) may cause you to overeat , because a fall in blood sugar often makes you feel hungry later.

    Since breakfast is the first and most important meal of the day, your choice is important. The best breakfast foods are fruits, juice, lean meat , and grain products such as bread, rice, noodles and cereals.

 

作文写得很好,就是细节的地方要注意。建议在句子时态和主语谓语一致这两方面多留心。

 

2. ”Still Hungry?” 看图作文

A Good Breakfast

               Skipping breakfast can set you up for overeating later in the day.A healthy breakfast can give you energy, manage weight, satisfy your appetite, help boost brainpower, and set the stage for smart decisions all day long.There are many options to get a breakfast that combines good carbs and fiber with some protein.

                The most nutritionnutritious,要用形容词) food is egg,which is rich in protein,as part of a balanced breakfast will keep you full all morning long and supply more than a dozen essential nutrients. If you 添加are)concerenedconcerned,单词拼写错误) about cholesterol,you can eat less egg yolk.Oatmeal,which is packed with soluble fiber, can help lower cholesterol and regulate blood sugar level. Avoid high-sugar instant packets and opt for the plain ones.Compared with oatmeal,the whole-grain breads, which includingincludes,如果没有which你可以把" including ..."作为插入语) iron, B vitamins and vitamin E, are also a good source of fiber and nutrients.the whole-grain breads have been shown to lower the risk of a number of chronic diseases such as heart disease and diabetes.There are aslo many other healthy food for breakfast,such as berries, cold cereal, cheese, peanut butter,milk, yogurt and so on.

             As you see, it is easy to get a healthy breakfast, but be reminded not to eat too much.

 

作文里用到了许多专业的词汇,说明你做足了功课,继续发挥持词汇方面的优点,在语法细节上注意下就完美

 

3.The Menus 场景作文

A good hotel

          A good hotel always gives you many unforgettable wonderful memories.

         Last week I went to Beijing to do business with my colleague.In the evening,we went to a welcome hotel, In the hall, it’s surprising to see many people checking in this hotel, many of them were regular customers. The elegance( elegant) employees of this hotel were all wearing fit suits,everything in this hotel,the organization,the service and even the smile were all perfect. As soon as we went to the hotel reception area, a staff came up to welcome us and led us to our room that we reserved before. The room we booked was a well decorated room, we could enjoy the view of the city from the French window. The flowers and fruits on the tea-table were presents(presented) for us. The refrigerator was filled with many kinds of drinks.Not only the staff introduced the dining hall and entertainment center, but also high recommended several specialties in hotel dining hall.After a warm shower,we called the laundry service and shoes polished service. In the next moring(morning), we called the room service after we got up , a little while later, the waiter carried the breakfast that had been ordered and served us breakfast in bed. After a delicious breakfast,we began our following journey in Beijing with full energy.But when we left the hotel,we were also sure that we would like come back to this hotel again next year.

4.Dessert 缩写文章

 

Standard Answer:

The hotel restaurant opens at the beginning of the evening and not every customer is a guest in the hotel.The waiters and waitresses are well-dressed and must be ready to offer impeccable service and remember that the customer is aways right.

5.Window-shopping 场景作文

How to spend  the weekends

         Weekends are good time to relax,you can do many things to help you release your pressures on weekends.Here are some advices(添加on what) people should be doing on weekends.

          Firstly,you can spend time with your family or your friends.This is especially important for those who don't spend much time with their loved ones during the weekends.

          Secondly,if you can't work out 4 to 5 days during the workweek,you need to exercise on weekends.It's a good opportunity to clear your mind and keep healthy.

          Thirdly,entertainment is always a good choice,you can go to see movies and concerts,go shopping,go to zoo or museum.And you can also do excursion with your friends.

         All in all,there are many ways to spend your weekends,but make sure the weekends are the right time to release yourself from stain,fatigue and overwork.

 

作文写得依旧不错,继续保持!!1

 

6.The Fitting Room 看图作文

The Fitting Room

              Finding a well fitted and satisfied garment is not aan easy work.There are always some discontents about the size,the material,the style and even the color.

               In this picture,the man is trying on a sweater in a clothes shop.The sweater he's trying on is pale blue,black and white.And he is also use(using) the mirror to see(建议改为whether the sweater fits him or not) how fit the sweater does.The black pants and black shoes he iswearing suit him perfectly.Look at the pile of clothes on the background, he must be very enjoy(enjoying) himself trying these clothes, may be(maybe) an important  dating is waiting for him. Wish him good luck!

 

7.An Emergency 简述场景

First Aid

     Knowing a little first-aid could be very useful,sometimes you can even save other people's life.

     In general,people don't do anything because they think they will kill the patient,but by learning simple rules you could make the difference make the difference,有影响,这个词组用的很好 between life and death.To handle the emergency situation,you should know how to apply pressure to stop bleeding.When you meet a lying people,firstly,you need to find out if they're unconsicous, asleep or drunk,by squeezing the skin between their neck and shoulder and shouting.If there is no response at all, you need to check if they are dead or just unconscious.If there are no signs of life,no obvious pulse and chest is not going up and down,you should call an ambulance and start the cardiopulmonary resusciatation (CPR) to maintain a flow of oxygenated blood to the brain and heart.Doing the CPR by pushing up and down on the centre of the chest,with your hand interlocked together,constantly until an ambulance arrives.Push at a rate of 100 beats a minute and then you might save a life.

     In addition,it添加is also important for kids to learn the fist aid,researchers find that the kids remembered the steps of CPR as good as or even better than adults do.Futhermore,teaching CPR and first aid to kids puts them in the mindset to help out,which might help change adult's unwillingness to assist in an emergency.

 

Kevin, this is really an excellent composition I have ever read.By reading your composition, I learn more usefull knowledge about frist-aid.I have to point out that ,this passage is very professional for us.I am curious about how do you collect these information.

 

8.At the Doctor’s 简述场景

Cosmetic Surgery

            In recent years,more and more people begin to take cosmetic surgery.Different factors contribute to this phenomenon.

             Firstly,the high developing technology make the plastic surgery more efficiency and safety(safe).Secondly,own(owe) to the increasingly fierce competition in society,most people think that a good appearance will enhance their advantage,make greater achievement in their career,especially when they want to devote themselves to the service industries.Thirdly,some married women,who want to improve their attraction and confidence,think this step is a necessary strategy measure for their marrige defending battle.Last but not the least,there are also some people,who unfortunate( unfortunately) suffered from birth defect,can enjoy the happiness as other healthy people through the cosmetic surgery.

            However,as we all know,every coin has two sides.Many tragic medical accidents have been reported recent years that one gets hurt or blind or even dead when she adopts a cosmetic surgery.Nothing in the world is more important than the life.Besides,the cosmetic surgery shows a kind of untruthfulness. We can improve our inner qualities,such as our personality and ability,to make our life much more beautiful,because as time passes(goes by),the beautiful face will become old and unlovely,but the experience and inner character will last forever.

           All in all,as the saying goes,beauty is only skin-deep.It is not adviseable for healthy people to take cosmetic surgery,there is no need (添加to)bear the high risk and endure the lifelong pains and enconomic loss of an unsuccessful cosmetic surgery.

 

9.Correspondence  简述场景

Correspondence 

       As a social animal, a human being needs communicate with others,therefore,the correspondence is very important to human's daily life.
      The earliest forms of communications are belived to be the inscriptions and found among cave walls throughout the world.Wall writings are also considered to be the first technological advance in communications.Then we used the ink and quills to deliver messages to each other.From the ballpoint pen to the typewriter,communication became much cheaper and quicker . As the phone and computer developing, people began to use email,texting social websites and social softwares.For example,in China,people usually use the QQ and Wechat to communicate with each others.
       As we have seen,face-to-face communication is being replaced by commenting and messaging on social medias.These new social medias can make communications much more convenient and efficient.Meanwhile,sometimes people spend too much time on these social medias,they check the updating(updated) contents on the social websites everyday.Furthermore,people easily ignore the friends and family members around them when they pay all the attentions(attention) on the social meidas.And some criminals use the social medias to do cyber fraud.
      Anyhow,whether social medias are good or bad,depends on different circumstance and the way you use it,only in safe and healthy network environment,only use them in right way ,these social medias can be really good for us.

 

作文写得不错了,下次内容可以简练一些,继续加油


10 At the Post Office 场景作文

At the Post Office

        The founding (foundation,founding作名词是[机] 铸造;溶解的意思,foundation是建立,创立的意思)of post office makes our communication much more efficient and convenient.You can send letters,printed matters and parcels to long distance areas.Here are some advices when you need to send matters in the post office.

        In China,when you want to send parcel to the other province,you can call the express company,after tell the customer service staff your location, the express company will send their staff to pick up your parcel.If you want to sent letters,you can go to the post office,ifyou want the addressee receive your letter as quickly as possible,you can send it by airmail special delivery.For security,you can also register your letter.By the way,if there is anything valuable in your parcel,you can also insure it.Meanwhile,I strongly recommend you to to put a return address on this parcel,although it's not a post office regulation.Furthermore,if your parcel is going to a foreign country,a customs declaration,on which you decalre what items are in the package and their value, is need to be filled out.After (confirming)how much it will cost and how long it will take to send to the destination,you can give your letter or your parcel to the deliveryman or the  staff in the post office.

您好,我感觉文章中的"if"使用太频繁,有无可以替换"if"的其他表述方式?

 

11 Banks and ATMs 缩写文章

Standard Answer:

You are at the bank to ask your financial adviser some advice. You now have considerable savings you want to invest.You are not interested in savings accounts because the interest rate is too low.You want to invest in the stock market or an Internet business venture.

12.Paying a Bill

Losing your wallet or purse can be a very terrible experience, you might have lost your cash,ID card,driver's license,credit cards,deposit cards,your social security card,your healthy insurance card and some membership cards.Here are some advices for you when you meet the(a) terrible situation.
       Fistly(Firstly), you should calm down and try to find every place that your wallet might be put in.In most cases, people also finally find their lost wallet in someplace that they neglected before.
       Secondly,after confirming the loss of your wallet,you should call the police and report your lost or stolen wallet,especially the identification card.In china,people can easily use other people's ID card to apply for credit cards and personal loans.
       Thirdly,you should call your banks and report the loss of your bank cards.Because people can use your ID Card to withdraw money from your bank cards.Also,with your ID card, peple can spend the money of your social security card.So,it would be wise to call the Social Security Center and report the loss of your card.If it's necessary, you should also report the loss of your other memebership cards.
       Last but not the least,you should keep an eye on your financial institution and credit card statements,look for any suspicious activity.
      All in all, when you lost your wallet,you should keep calm,then report the loss of important cards.Meanwhile, call your friends or your family to get some cash,because it will takes one week to get a temporary ID card,by which you can use to defrost your bank account and tranfer(transfer) money to your new bank cards.

 

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